So many of you have emailed me with encouragement about going back to school and shared your own back-to-college stories. Thank you so much for that! It was a huge encouragement to me when I felt fearful to jump into the unknown, especially since I’d already been there, done that, and dropped out.
I went back to school when my oldest child was two years old, and it was tough. She missed me, I missed her, she cried a lot (so did I), and I ended up dropping out after just one semester back. I remember telling my professor, “I can get an education anytime, but she will only be little once.”
I am not saying there’s anything wrong with going back to school, or doing anything else, when your kids are small, just that for me it wasn’t the right time.
That narrative kept playing in my head recently as I worried about how much my child had missed me when I was in school before and how much I didn’t want that to happen again – especially not with only having four years before she graduates (the clock is always ticking, but when they start high school that ticking grows louder).
I talked about how I finally made the decision to go back to school in this post and the process I went through is helpful for any decision a person is trying to make.
But even though I really felt like I was making the right choice, I doubted myself. I almost dropped out before I started. I cried tears of overwhelm and nervousness just from knowing I was stepping into something new and wasn’t sure what the end result would look like, or if I could really trust myself to follow through this time.
Terrified, unsure, and nervous beyond belief, I tentatively logged into my online class to begin my first day. After a full year of turmoil regarding this decision, my fear dissipated almost immediately after starting work on my first class.
I was where I was supposed to be and I felt it through my entire being.
I’m only a week and a half in and there are still a lot of unknowns, but I do know this – the timing is amazing!
The very thing I was so worried about pulling me away from my kids is turning out to be a really fun bonding opportunity. We do our schoolwork at the same time and we’ve had great, candid discussions about college education, pros and cons of going right away, waiting to start college, or opting not to go at all.
It’s been great for my kids to witness me working through this process myself and I trust that God will use this for good in their futures.
I’m glad I waited. I’m glad I didn’t push for this when I first tried eleven years ago. I know myself better now. I know what I want more than I did when I was in my early 20’s. I’m better at managing my time and juggling multiple things than I was eleven years ago.
But ultimately, this article isn’t about college. It’s about waiting for God’s timing when things aren’t a good fit, and also about going ahead and jumping out in faith when it’s your time to move.
Maybe right now is your time to jump out in faith with something in your life.
But maybe it’s not.
Maybe it’s your time to live quietly, embracing where you are right now and trusting that growth is happening within you, in the quietness of your own home.
I know that when we rest in God, He will bless the outcome.
Whichever one you are doing – stepping out in faith or waiting on God’s timing, I hope you will follow Him with peace in your heart and that you won’t allow the world to make you feel like your way is wrong just because it may be unconventional. Our God has never cared about doing things the conventional society-approved way and we don’t need to, either.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God…” Romans 8:28 ESV
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV
Also, sometimes we need to walk in faith in one area of our lives while simultaneously waiting quietly in another area.
If you aren’t sure whether it’s your time to wait or your time to walk in faith, I highly recommend reading this article that shares 8 steps to take when making an important decision.
In case you missed it, my real-life friend of 10 years, Misty Baily, and I recorded a podcast together! It’s all about faith, friendship, and finding balance. This episode has been super popular so far and for good reason! It’s specifically about homeschooling, but the topics we cover are really universal. If you ever feel like you’re falling short, I highly highly recommend listening to this episode.