I want to talk to you about something serious I’ve noticed that makes me feel sad.
When I’m out in public, I see women acting ugly. Everywhere. At the park, the grocery store, restaurants… women lose their tempers and “let people have it” every day. Whether it’s geared towards their kids, a stranger, their spouse, or someone on the phone, they act in very unbecoming ways.
I know that people have bad days. I know people are stressed out. I know they don’t feel well, and the exhausted mom told her child 20 times to stop whining before she snapped at him. I know. And I promise I’m not judging – in fact, I cringe inwardly as I wonder if I’ve ever been one of those people (actually, I’m sure I have – I just don’t really want to admit it on the Internet).
That’s why I want to tell you about a book – this is something I believe every woman in America (and probably many men) could benefit from reading.
A good friend first introduced me to the book Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions by Lysa Terkeurst, so now I want to be that friend to you. You see, when this friend started talking about a book she was reading to help her learn to properly handle her emotions, I was immediately interested. When she and I got together in person and I could see that she was actually calmer from within, instead of just pushing raw emotions down, I knew I had to read the book.
I read Unglued with the hopes of gaining a few new tips about handling negative emotions a little better. I came away with so much more than that.
I learned that burying feelings inside is just as harmful as letting them out improperly. I was given tips, tools, and scripture for how to properly handle confrontation, disappointment, anger, and other types of conflict.
I also learned that some relationships can be toxic, and Lysa gave wonderfully insightful tips for how to break free from the toxicity of those relationships.
One thing I love (and dislike!) about Unglued is that Lysa never allows us to excuse our behavior. I kept waiting to read the chapter that would offer excuses and reasons for coming a little bit unglued. You know; exhaustion, stress, PMS, someone calling to say they’ll drop by in 10 minutes when nobody has showered and the house is a mess…
Lysa never did that. She never gave me the excuses I was looking for. And I’m glad she didn’t.
Lysa Terkeurst talks about how God shapes and molds us, and she discusses how to work on managing our feelings as we allow God to chisel us. Lysa calls this Imperfect Progress, which is now a favorite term for my friend and I as we encourage each other in our Unglued journeys.
Imperfect Progress means I’m not going to handle my raw emotions properly 100% of the time. And that’s not an excuse – that’s just life. Our struggles won’t disappear until we’re in Heaven, which is part of the beauty of God’s grace. He loves us and forgives us anyway.
In spite of the fact that I may never fully “get there” with my emotions, I can keep making progress. When I get upset, I can choose to extend grace and to realize that nobody else can control my emotions.
Reading Unglued and going through the DVD series (which was filmed in beautiful Italy!) has helped me to realize that even though I may get upset and react poorly, I don’t have to stay in that place. I can apologize. Then I can move on. I can let God chisel.
Here’s the Unglued book trailer (blog subscribers, you may need to click over to the blog to watch):
What about you? What tips do you have for properly handling raw emotions?
(NOTE: This article includes affiliate links but this is an important topic and the post would have been written the exact same way if I didn’t have affiliate links.)