Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about time, and how we spend it.
My grandfather passed away last week at 86 years old.
After his death, I spent two full days with extended family.
My grandpa’s wife of 65 years (AKA my precious grandmother!), all five of their children, their children’s spouses, and each of their 14 grandchildren were there, along with several of their grandchildren’s spouses and a few great grandchildren.
That is a whole lot of family.
We talked, we laughed, we mourned, we ate, we lingered. When was the last time we’ve all done that together? It has been too long. Being surrounded by family, including my own husband and children, was so comforting during a time of earthly loss.
I also thought about how blessed I am. My entire family has had many, many years together. My grandfather was a wonderful Christian man who chose simplicity and family over earthly riches. I know that he’s reached his reward, and I am so comforted knowing that I will see him again one day.
Then, only a few days after my grandfather’s death, I heard the devastating news about Sandy Hook Elementary. 20 precious babies, 6 teachers, a mother. My mind can’t even fully comprehend the loss.
I shed tears for the families of those precious little ones, taken in an instant. I pray the families will seek God for refuge.
And through all of this, I wonder:
Why does it take death to make us appreciate life?
Why does it take a tragedy for me to want to hold my own babies tighter and snuggle them longer?
Why do I waste time, thinking I can do more later?
Why do I take my own life, and the lives of my loved ones, for granted?
We are not guaranteed tomorrow. We are not promised an hour from now. All we can live is this moment.
If my life were to end tomorrow, how would I feel about how I spent my time today? Did I focus on the most important or did I give my attention to things that don’t have a lasting value? Did I love my children enough? Did I appreciate my husband as I should?
Am I ready?
Even if I live to be 86 like my grandpa, I don’t want to waste these years. My entire life is a gift and I want to make the most of it.
We are only promised right now and we can’t get it back – let’s make it matter.