The past several weeks have been a time of quiet processing for me, a pouring out of my heart to God in prayer.
“…when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place…” Matthew 6:6 (NKJV)
You see, I’ve lost four family members in just nine months (my grandfather, my grandmother, my aunt, and my cousin). And, while I grieve these earthly losses, my heart also deeply aches for my extended family members who have lost more than I: some have lost a spouse, a brother, a sister, both parents, a child.
Yet, through the sorrow, I’ve also seen so much beauty. Friends and church families have provided free child care, cooked meals, cleaned homes, helped with projects that couldn’t be put off, and they served with so much humble gentleness that it helped to make the burdens easier to bear.
Family also spent more time together than usual, with many relatives taking off work and staying for several days at a time. Lingering, being comforted just by being close, and not needing words to express sorrow helped so much.
Watching my brothers and my male cousins lift caskets together were sad moments, but wow, what an honor to be asked to carry someone for the last time. Along with grief during those times, my heart was filled with love and pride as I witnessed the strength in my brothers and cousins to be able to carry out such a difficult task with so much quiet dignity.
Through this, lives have been forever changed. My relatives and I are all more aware that each breath is a precious gift. Many people’s day-to-day lives have been drastically altered. Holiday gatherings will never be quite the same. Gathering with family now, knowing that some of those missing will never be back, is a difficult concept to wrap my mind around.
Yet, though it will be difficult, I still plan to gather. To be with the ones who are still living on earth. To love, to laugh, to cry, to comfort, and to linger. Family is so precious.
And I know that through it all, God is faithful, He is good, and He is Victorious.
51 Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed— 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed… 54 So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” 1 Corinthians 15:51, 22, 54 (NKJV, emphasis mine)
I am so thankful to have another reunion to look forward to, one more glorious and joyous than I can even imagine. A reunion where sickness cannot encompass and death cannot prevail. Until then, I’ll strive to make the most of the moments I’ve been blessed with on earth, to linger more, to be ever-grateful for the gift of time, and to do my best to pass on a legacy of faith, love, and family the way my own grandparents passed that legacy down to me.
BJ says
January 5, 2014 at 3:51 amHow amazing this is to me to find your blog tonight. God has spoken to me that whether we want to or not, we will leave a legacy for our children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc. We will either leave blessings from the fruit that will never perish to bless our children, the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control….or attitudes that are harmful or hurtful.
I feel blessed that my great grandparents left a legacy of the beautiful fruit that has sustained many in the generations that followed them. I so much hope to leave a legacy of the fruit that will never perish!
I too have lost loved ones, six in five years. Parents-in-laws, dear aunt, uncles, and now just a few months ago, my mother. It has been a sad Christmas and yet glimpses of joy comfort me as I think of those gathered in heaven! At the bottom of my screen this very moment is still the minimized verse ‘1 Corinthians 15:35’ which my husband and I were reading this evening. I know this is not a coincidence that you posted this verse on here and that I have come across your blog. I have been reminded so often of late that they are alive, for as I read in another verse just a few days ago “He is not the God of the dead but the God of the living” from Mark 12:18-27.
Though Christmas was sad and different, feeling the absence of those dear ones that were not with us, I was so thankful for the opportunity to cherish my eight children, their spouses and seven grandchildren. As the older generation passes I feel the responsibility, the passing of the torch so to speak, as a grandmother now. The thought of legacies is on my heart today! I contemplated all the clutter that I keep trying to get out of my home to (as you wrote for your newest 2014 blog), bless others. What will be my legacy to those who follow? Dusty clutter that kept me busy battling and draining me of energy? Or the fruit that will not perish…planted seeds of the fruit in these fleeting moments of earth to grow in due season in the generations to come. Though I may never meet my great or even great great grandkids here on earth, I will long to meet them ALL in heaven someday!
I am amazed to find this blog tonight that touches on so many things that are touching my heart right now.
Thank you for writing your blog. God bless you!
Davonne says
January 5, 2014 at 11:33 amYou are 100% correct about everything you said. Nothing I write here can add to the beauty of your comment, so just know that I deeply thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts on my blog.