If you want to know some awesome ways to be a great friend, plus qualities to look for whenever you’re searching for friends, then you are in the perfect place today because I have 7 tips to share with you!
After-all, it’s so much easier to be a great wife, mom, and everything else when we’re sharing this journey with people who will encourage us to be the best we can!
Before we get started though, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart! I was incredibly nervous about sharing my depression journey LIVE on Facebook because it’s so personal.
It’s scary to put yourself out there sometimes, you know?!
But you are all so great! Many of you shared the video with your friends, left encouraging comments on the video and accompanying article, and sent beautiful messages to my inbox. I appreciate that so much – your responses make me feel safe to keep sharing even more vulnerable things with you!
And today, I’m putting myself out there again by sharing about something I’ve struggled with in my adult life – friendship! Friends are wonderful, but friendships be messy at times! We talked about friendship on Facebook LIVE earlier this week so definitely check out that video too if you haven’t yet.
Part of being a good friend is finding other good friends. So in addition to building up these qualities in yourself, you’ll also want to seek out friendships with people who strive for these things in their own lives, too!
7 Ways to Be An Awesome Friend
1) Go first.
If you want to get together with someone and get to know them better, invite them! You can invite them over to your house, ask them if they’d like to join you at the park with your kids, or ask them out for coffee.
Don’t wait.
If everyone waits to be invited by others, we’re all going to be waiting for a really long time. So just go first!
2) Love people where they are.
People don’t want to be fixed. They want to feel understood. So love them for who they are today, not for who you think they should be.
Do not go into a friendship trying to fix somebody. That will not be a healthy friendship. Love them where they are.
If you want to hear more encouraging thoughts about loving people where they are, check out this Sorta Awesome Podcast, starting at minute 50:04. Crystal Paine from Money Saving Mom got real and vulnerable about her own friendship journey and WOW, there’s some good stuff in there!
3) Act like yourself.
If you constantly try to perform, go above and beyond to earn approval, or act a certain way just to be accepted and to get people to like you, that’s not authentic friendship.
Just like we should love people for who they are, we need to seek out deeper friendships with people who love us for who we are too, so act like yourself.
4) Be a friend in good times and in bad times.
A balcony friend is someone who will will lift you up, where-as a basement friend is somebody who will pull you down. Don’t be the friend who is constantly pulling other people down by being negative!
Be a balcony friend who will lift others up. Usually, that means celebrating with them. But occasionally being a balcony friend also means kindly and graciously giving a friend hard truths to help them become aware of an area that needs growth.
(I give a specific example of how someone was a balcony friend to me around minute 3:40 in Tuesday’s Facebook Live, and I even have props, so definitely check out that video if you haven’t already!)
Basically, when your friends are rejoicing, rejoice with them. When they’re weeping, be there for their sorrow, too.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15
If you want a super-simple way to be a good balcony friend, print these FREE notecards and send them to friends!
5) Don’t expect your friend to play God in your life.
God is always there, always available to listen every moment of every day, always willing to speak to us through His Word, and He knows our every need before we even ask.
When we expect a friend to do all of that, we’re likely pulling the life right out of our friendship. So let’s remember that even our closest friends are only human.
The book Better Together: Because You’re Not Meant to Mom Alone by Jill Savage with Anne McClane has so much great information about friendship. Better Together has helped me SO much, and I love this passage from chapter 1:
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If you’re trying to play that God-role in somebody’s life, where you’re constantly there for every single thing, give yourself a break! Don’t worry about trying to over-perform.
If a friend expects you to constantly fill their every need, that’s not a healthy friendship and that’s something you need to discuss with them in love (Ephesians 4:15-16).
And while we should love people for who they are today, if someone is unwilling to listen to you or to work on that trait in themselves, then it’s time to set some healthy boundaries. (After-all, if they’re expecting you to play the God-role, then they’re not loving you with the limitations you have!)
6) Communicate well.
If your friend hurt your feelings, or expected too much from you, or you think you may have hurt their feelings, then start a conversation about that! Be kind and gentle, but also direct.
We’re told in Ephesians 4:15 to speak the truth in love. Be willing to have difficult conversations that can help you grow closer together.
7) Keep their secrets!
Don’t gossip with your friend or about your friend.
“…a whisperer separates the best of friends.” Proverbs 16:28, NKJV
As women, we’re nurturers so we care about people, but we need to use that compassion to do something for someone, not to talk about someone. If you want to be a trustworthy friend, keep their secrets (as long as nobody is in danger or doing something illegal, of course!).
So there you have it – 7 ways to be a good friend! This list is just to get you started. There are so many more ways to be a great friend, and I’d love to hear some of your ideas below!
Helpful Links
- 12 Ways to Naturally Relieve Depression video
- 30 Ways to Naturally Relieve Depression article
- 7 Ways to Be An Awesome Friend video
- Sorta Awesome podcast episode 138 – start at 50:04 to hear Crystal Paine’s clip about friendship
- How to Be a Balcony Friend article
- Printable Notecards
- Better Together: Because You’re Not Meant to Mom Alone – book by Jill Savage and Anne McClane. {NOTE: I do NOT think this book is for moms only! Any woman needing friendship help can absolutely benefit from it!}
- Romans 12:15, Ephesians 4:15-16 and Proverbs 16:28 – Bible verses to tuck into your heart
Print Your FREE Notecards!
If you want a super-simple way to be a balcony friend, grab your own FREE printable notecards by filling out the form below. This way, I’ll know to email the link to you!
Already subscribed and want the notecards? Great – just grab your most recent email from me, then click the link at the bottom of that email. It’ll take you to the super-secret page where you can download all of the freebies, including these beautiful cards!
Yes, Please!
Hannah A. says
April 3, 2018 at 3:10 pmThis post is SO challenging for me! So many things to think about that I needed a fresh perspective on when it comes to friendships. I listened to the podcast clip, too, that you suggested. Just such a timely article for me. Thank you – you’re doing great things on this blog.
Davonne says
April 7, 2018 at 5:16 pmI’m so glad this helped you, Hannah! Thanks for letting me know!